More than a while..

Yeah..i should say that it has been more than a while since i shared something..or rather confessed..to you..my dear blog..
All i can say is that i got way too lost in the unimportant intricacies of life..
Why unimportant..?? well yeah.. haven't really been pursuing my true calling..that of an avid reader who loves to pen down her thoughts every now and then..rather have been busy running the rat race..or rather living life in tune with what my peers are doing..just following them..with no end objective in mind..
So have i been REALLY living my life? Scared to answer that because well may be i do know the answer!
But..as they say..past is past..future well no one knows..present is GIFT of life..so better late than never! Right? :)
Stay tuned for more of me! Hopefully this time i would not betray you..
REMINISCENCE..Reminiscing forever..
Adios!

Says her heart...

Says her heart...i am restless..

Its a crowd...and i am alone

Why is that you are in pain...asks her soul..

Answers her heart...its happiness that i am looking for...

But this is what you always wanted..

The life you always yearned for...

The joys of the world are with you now...

Then why are you still unsure...

Says her heart..

Happiness..

if only it could be defined..

Is it the smile on her face when she sees him..

Or is it the love in his eyes when she cries...

Is it the rhythmic beat that enthralls me when he leaves her..

Or is it the fear of losing him that makes me small...

and makes her think that she rather die..

Is it the magic that en grips her when he touches her...

or is it the tears in her eyes when he says that he has lost her..

Is it in the calmness that u feel...oh...you dead soul...

when she is in his arms..

Or is it just him..

Is he..the happiness for me...her heart...

Says her soul..

Happiness...if only it could be defined..

For you now know where it truly lies..

But who knows where his heart resides...

For his heart is still not by my side...

If only...it could be a lie...

If only...

It could be a lie...

my own little space...

when we say that we need some time for ourselves....that we need to explore ourselves...what do we really WANT to explore...when we say hey i need my space..i need to have my "own little space"...what am i saying...or is it the " in" thing...to have your own space!!
Personally, and honestly, my own space is what i really live for. That little blank moment in your daily hectic schedule when you let your thoughts let loose...and when your most impossible but the most innocent dreams come into being just for a moment...and when in that very moment you live your life...your entire life that you desire of leading...of living...of experiencing...
my own space....when for just a few seconds you listen to your heart....ignoring the practical and seemingly 'oh so correct' decisions of your mind bluntly...
the moments when the most important decisions of your life are taken by you....the real you...your soul...and how do i know that those decisions are the right ones....simple....because those decisions...those promises to your self....those responsibilities that you decide to take upon yourself...are actually the decisions of your soul...and when you are in your own little space you are at peace with yourself..with the whole universe...and thats when you become the almighty's child...the pure pristine child...
yes....i live for my own little space...and i wont ever sacrifice it for anything....or anybody....for we all deserve to live our dreams...and i live my dreams daily...even if for those few moments....
my own little space.. that is big enough to capture all my dreams....:)

she lived in this world...

a girl i knew...
had been in this world..
oh...you wana know her?
then just listen to these words...

she was a lass with a charming smile...
who swam through the tides of time..
for her life was a sweet dream that had to be lived..
full of flowers and waters shining in the sweet sunshine!

she dreamt through life...when others lived through it...
and she thought this made her special...
crazy as it may seem to you...
but she never found problems to be obstacles...

she believed.. He loved her...
and the angels up there wanted to guard her...
that stars shone to brighten up her dreamy sky...
and birds sang her the songs of love...that were eternal..

how can she exist in this selfish world...you may wonder...
for this world is enough to crush ur loveliest dreams...
did she live or did she die..
and is she now just in your memories...

well..the tides of time swept away those moments....
and she still managed to swim through..

she lived but with a dead soul...
she dreamt but they were all nightmare...
she heard the birds but they just mourned...
she cried but the tears of a dreadful scare...

she died...yes she did...
but the girl is still alive in my heart..
her life is over on this merciless earth...
but my belief in her can never keep us apart...

streets of life

i sat on that chair..

near the window that opens up into the world..

i wanted to look out...

wanted my gaze to meander..

through the streets of life..

all over again..

for i felt my world has changed...

i knew...that life is just not the same...

i closed my eyes for a moment..

and i remembered it...all of it..

those curves...those turns..

that made me go astray..

those drizzles...those storms...

that drenched me...got me oh so scared...

i was scared to open my eyes...

was scared to look back into the world...

was scared to look into the same old streets..

was scared...to swim in those tides...

but i knew i had to face the world..

had to take those routes again

those unending streets were telling me

that i have to find a way...

and so these eyes trembled...

but the streets they saw got blurred..

i did not know what it was

was it my fear...or was it a new world..

i sank into my chair...

and felt fettered to the ground...

i looked into the sky in despair

to see HIM...who is unbound..

those fetters are still there...

and those prayers are still said...

but...those streets are getting familiar now...

for now i know...its me who has to move ahead...

but...if only...someone could tell me...how...

That shadow..by my side...

the heart sank...
the eyes got blurred...
another broken dream...
yet another path gone absurd..

i thought...if life knew...
that i am the weakest of all those faces...
why did it choose me again...
to show its evil phases...

they say...its my heart that smiles..
but today...i know...
its this very heart that wants to cry...
and its this cry..
that has helped me cover all those miles..

they say....its my eyes that say it all...
they speak of the dreams that i have built all along...
and again...i know...
that dreams are meant to be broken...
and would never be my own...

HE says....i am His own child...
he has been embracing me all this while...
He shielded me...He nurtured me...
and i always thought it was just my shadow...
that was by my side..

i say...to all those who spoke...
its my soul that has kept me alive ..

my heart has cried....
my eyes have dried..

but that shadow
is still by my side...

the sea shore

Waves rose high..

and the water seemed so blue..

I stood alone on the shore..

as if standing in front of an open door..

The door i knew...

was open all this while..

But...i still wonder..

what kept me from going inside..

I stood there alone..

nervous...confused...and stoned...

staring at the overwhelming stretch..

stretch..

I have always considered my own..

It tried hard to touch the sky..

and the sky...it seemed... pulled itself high..

But the pearls that floated in my eyes

kept me from seeing who won..

Oh that treasure box of mine..

or that mean sky..

The waves rose still higher..

and i could feel my heart sink...

Why was it that i felt..

the sea was begging me to stand there..

still.

I moved more into the waters..

and i could feel the waves touching my bare feet..

Was it a smile that touched my lips..

or was it the faith that sea had in me..

And then..

as if a gift from a dear friend....

a tiny wave brought me a shell...

I listened to the music that it rendered..

and i felt that...life...for once...had surrenderd..

But then i had to leave the shore...

for i knew...there was another life..

But i promised my dear friend..

it was his faith in me...

and not a mere smile...