streets of life

i sat on that chair..

near the window that opens up into the world..

i wanted to look out...

wanted my gaze to meander..

through the streets of life..

all over again..

for i felt my world has changed...

i knew...that life is just not the same...

i closed my eyes for a moment..

and i remembered it...all of it..

those curves...those turns..

that made me go astray..

those drizzles...those storms...

that drenched me...got me oh so scared...

i was scared to open my eyes...

was scared to look back into the world...

was scared to look into the same old streets..

was scared...to swim in those tides...

but i knew i had to face the world..

had to take those routes again

those unending streets were telling me

that i have to find a way...

and so these eyes trembled...

but the streets they saw got blurred..

i did not know what it was

was it my fear...or was it a new world..

i sank into my chair...

and felt fettered to the ground...

i looked into the sky in despair

to see HIM...who is unbound..

those fetters are still there...

and those prayers are still said...

but...those streets are getting familiar now...

for now i know...its me who has to move ahead...

but...if only...someone could tell me...how...

That shadow..by my side...

the heart sank...
the eyes got blurred...
another broken dream...
yet another path gone absurd..

i thought...if life knew...
that i am the weakest of all those faces...
why did it choose me again...
to show its evil phases...

they say...its my heart that smiles..
but today...i know...
its this very heart that wants to cry...
and its this cry..
that has helped me cover all those miles..

they say....its my eyes that say it all...
they speak of the dreams that i have built all along...
and again...i know...
that dreams are meant to be broken...
and would never be my own...

HE says....i am His own child...
he has been embracing me all this while...
He shielded me...He nurtured me...
and i always thought it was just my shadow...
that was by my side..

i say...to all those who spoke...
its my soul that has kept me alive ..

my heart has cried....
my eyes have dried..

but that shadow
is still by my side...

the sea shore

Waves rose high..

and the water seemed so blue..

I stood alone on the shore..

as if standing in front of an open door..

The door i knew...

was open all this while..

But...i still wonder..

what kept me from going inside..

I stood there alone..

nervous...confused...and stoned...

staring at the overwhelming stretch..

stretch..

I have always considered my own..

It tried hard to touch the sky..

and the sky...it seemed... pulled itself high..

But the pearls that floated in my eyes

kept me from seeing who won..

Oh that treasure box of mine..

or that mean sky..

The waves rose still higher..

and i could feel my heart sink...

Why was it that i felt..

the sea was begging me to stand there..

still.

I moved more into the waters..

and i could feel the waves touching my bare feet..

Was it a smile that touched my lips..

or was it the faith that sea had in me..

And then..

as if a gift from a dear friend....

a tiny wave brought me a shell...

I listened to the music that it rendered..

and i felt that...life...for once...had surrenderd..

But then i had to leave the shore...

for i knew...there was another life..

But i promised my dear friend..

it was his faith in me...

and not a mere smile...

dance..with the elusive one..

the music went on
and the beats soared high...
the bodies swayed..
and everybody's thoughts touched the sky..

i danced into the night
yes i did..
but where were my thoughts..??
i wonder still...

songs...
lips sang them all..
but thoughts...oh you damn thoughts..
did you have to crawl.

eyes were on a search
and so was my heart...
oh...both were on the verge
of an encounter...unheard...

i wished for that dance...
for those special moves..
heart said you would get another chance..
eyes said...lemme choose...

i stopped dancing...
and moved to the corner...
i looked at the people
nobody...except me...was a loner

i told my heart...hey what if..
its not in my destiny
it said...
yours would last till eternity...

i smiled..
and moved to the dance floor..
and yes...i danced again...
but now my eyes searched no more...

life....

whenever i felt it was a smooth sailing...alas...something goes wrong...and when i thought that i was the most unprivileged and unluckiest person on this earth...well there comes a ray of hope...making this world look like heaven ...and the people around (even those whom we hate!
) as...well...angels!! :)

thats life...unpredictable.... unpretentious... sometimes killing...and sometimes... just like a dream...

i must be in love that life seems to me like a dream...hmmm...well...ya...i AM in love....but not with some handsome hunk or dude i saw and just couldnt keep my eyes off...whose just a mere presence makes your heart skip a beat...or whom i see with puppy love in my eyes!! (..well..thats what they show in all those romantic movies...dont they...ha ha...not my personal experience...;)...)

i m in love....with LIFE....

life makes you go through a gamut of emotions....liking....obsession...hatred... jealousy...compassion....generosity...possessiveness....and the most pious of them all...love itself...when u just want to think about that person and noone else...when u just want to care for him or her...u just want him or her to be happy...( even at the cost of ur own happiness)...when u dream of growing old with that person...and dying in his or her arms...yes thats love...unselfish...unyielding....always forgiving...which hurts you but still, you just want to experience it....foever....and ever...(well...didnt copy this from a romantic novel or something...its something i believe in....and will always do....:))

but life is not only about emotions darling!! its a big package....with free gifts and sometimes...well defected pieces!! :)

success and defeats are a part of this cruel but fair game...if success puts u on cloud nine...life gives you another surprise....but an unpleasant one this time round...yes...here comes the defeat...which throws you back on ground..breaks a couple of bones of yours...(well not literally!!)...makes you face the harsh realities....and this is the time when you introspect...u think what went wrong...and....you LEARN...

so why am i in love with life...i mean if it makes me happy then it makes me twice as much sad...well...why shouldnt i be in love ...it has given me my family...my friends...all my near and dear ones....because it always knew that i wont be able to face all the setbacks and defeats, alone...and so gave me the support system which is always there for me...no matter what....:)

at last i just want to say that life is just a BIG book...with each page like a moment...and as you go on reading it, it keeps on surprising you...pleasantly and unpleasanlly...and you cant skip the pages which bring you sad moments... you have to read each and every page..you have to live each and every moment....

wish we could skip some pages....right?!!



anyways....HAPPY READING!!